Feed Me Happiness, Dress me in Depression
this is me playing skyrim on Friday




dance fat kid, dance


good memories will never fade, and that’s good, even if they are the best memories you will ever have, that’s good too. Maybe its never meant to be topped, but you live the daily grind to find out. Because it doesn’t matter when it happens, it happens one time and you will never forget it. 

I love you Annelysse forever

do’ gee uh fuh

fuckin headaches galore man, don’t know how much more I can take of pretending to be completely satisfied and keeping the damn smile on my face

I wish I did believe in God. It would be a great relief to think, ‘God’ll take care of it. God’ll put gas in the car tomorrow’

My fav 30 songs list

1. Radiohead- Nice Dream

Just the perfect song from start to finish, it means everything to me.

2. Nirvana- Lithium

Best Nirvana song in my opinion, best use of the loud soft dynamic they were OG at. And of course, Kurt is just awesome

3. Pink Floyd- Great Gig in the Sky

Beautiful song, the way they use the voice as an instrument will make you yizz

4. DJ Shadow- Midnight in a Perfect World

Again, no vocals, just straight up ex mate

5. Pearl Jam- Better Man

I love the grunge era more than any other music period, even though this song was toward the end of it, Vedder is just a beast and a running joke in my life

6. The Mars Volta- Drunkship of Lanterns

Baller song from start to finish, unbelievable guitar by Omar, yazztast

7. Depeche Mode- Enjoy the Silence

No other song has been associated with my love life than this one, as fag as it sounds, this song has meant a lot to meh

8. Jeff Buckley- Last Goodbye

Just bring mems, great lyrics

9. Pixies- I Bleed

10. Rage Against the Machine- Bullet in the Head

11. Bob Marley- Waiting in Vain

12. The Clash- Guns of Brixton

13. Modest Mouse- Heart Cooks Brain

14. The Replacements- I Will Dare

15. Bloc Party- The Prayer

16. Editors- Munich

17. Gorillaz- Clint Eastwood

18. Oasis- Columbia

19. The Strokes- The Modern Age

20. The Beatles- Dear Prudence

21. Enter Shikari- Sorry you’re not a winner

22. Deadmau5- Strobe

23. Outkast- Chonkyfire

24. Rammstein- Buck Dich

25. U2- When I look at the world

26. The Smiths- There is a light that never goes out

27. Devin the Dude- In my Draws

28. Kanye West- Runaway

29. My Chemical Romance- I’m not okay(I Promise)

30. Pavement- Stop Breathin’

I feel as if I’ve found someone truly special, but I wonder if it could ever work. I’ll just let time do its work, see whats happens, but I’m just glad im happy again….Forever grateful of some nigrosos i have as friends, u know who u r

My top 30 favorite albums of all time

1. Pixies- Doolittle 

2. Nirvana - Nevermind

3. Radiohead- OK Computer

4. The Smiths- Queen is Dead

5. The Strokes- Is This It

6. OutKast- Stankonia

7. U2- All that you cant leave behind

8. Radiohead- Kid A

9. Pink Floyd- Dark Side of the Moon

10. The Mars Volta- Deloused in the Comatorium

11. Jeff Buckley- Grace

12. Devin the Dude- Suite 420

13. Oasis- Definitely Maybe

14. Rage against the machine- Rage Against the machine

15. Placebo- Without You Im Nothing

16. Pearl Jam- Ten

17. My Bloody Valentine- Loveless

18. The Beatles- White Album

19. Eminem- Marshall Mathers LP

20. Radiohead- The Bends

21. DJ Shadow- Endtroducing

22. Pixies- Surfer Rosa

23. Depeche Mode- Violator

24. The Clash- London Calling

25. Beastie Boys- Licensed to Ill

26. Arcade Fire- Funeral

27. Kanye West- My beautiful dark twisted fantasy

28. U2- Joshua Tree

29. Pavement- Crooked Rain Crooked Rain

30. Modest Mouse- The Lonesome Crowded West

I’m a little drunk atm…So i posted this lengthy list….. but music is everything to me. I’m a classic guy, I usually judge an artists work by their albums, and these are my favorite albums, thus far, that I have ever come across. I always thought Doolittle was a great album, but when I saw them live, this became my favorite because of how real they were…they were all about the music, and everything in that album fit right along each song. It makes me shiver every time I hear the bassline in ‘I Bleed’ or the humorous shouts on ‘Tame’. This album is my life, and everything I look for in music. No missteps whatsoever. 

And another thing I want to talk about is betrayal….It has affected my life more than anything, and I swear to fucking allah I will never forget what the fuck happened. It has motivated me in ways that no one can foresee, and I’m coming harder than a horse erection. Cocky and confident as ever, don’t fuck with this Polak.

I love you all

People on facebook

too many depressing statuses

too much hate

if you have a problem


goodnight, billy’s tmw, lehgooooooo! as they say

albums ive listened to lately

Without You Im Nothing- Placebo

This is their second album, which I think is their 2nd best behind ‘Sleeping With Ghosts’. So many good songs, and while I particularly don’t like some of the lyrical themes like angst and Molko talking about masterbating and erections, I just love the melancholic sound on this album. ‘You Don’t Care About Us’, ‘Summer’s Gone’, ‘Brick Shithouse’

Angles- The Strokes

Another great by The Strokes, I would put it ahead of FIOE but behind their first two albums. Some good ones, ‘Two Kinds of Happiness’, ‘Machu Picchu’, ‘Undercover of Darkness’….the rest is mostly just fodder, but with a band that’s good at groove and melody and an undeniable voice of Casablancas, you can’t go wrong

Definitely Maybe- Oasis

I was always a Radiohead guy, but Oasis’ first album compares to any of Radiohead’s albums( except for maybe OK and kid) Every song is an instant classic and it will put you in a happy mood instantly. Modern Day Beatles.

And last night was ubernasty and it basically changed everything I thought about people. There are some real people in this world, few and far too few though


I will never have 100% happiness in life…In a perfect world this would be achievable, but in this world where its far from it, I will always have a chip on my shoulder.

Not too long ago I thought I had perfection, that I never had to do anything anymore. I had everything I wanted. Now that I don’t, and never will, I will run up the infinite staircase…til I’m dead!

check it

You were so busy lately

that you haven’t had the time

to open up your mind

and watch the world spinning slowly out of time


And the people you meet everyday seem to change you in ways you thought inconceivable


We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn’t there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You’re face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World

I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home
I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed

I gazed a gazely stare at all the millions here
We must have died alone, a long long time ago

Who knows? not me
We never lost control

You’re face to face
With the Man who Sold the World 

I hear…

People Talk- Devin the Dude

Do you realize???- The Flaming Lips

Televators- The Mars Volta

Heart Cooks Brain- Modest Mouse

In Limbo - Radiohead

I want something good to die for

to make it beautiful to live

I hear…

lithium - Nirvana

The Modern Age- The Strokes

Morning Mr. Magpie- Radiohead

Strobe- Deadmau5

Glory Box- Portishead


Right now, just afraid of it…afraid to be optimistic about it, afraid to be around it. 

Just afraid to make a true effort at it, but then again love just happens right?

I hear…

Alive- Pearl Jam

The Man Who Sold the World- David Bowie

Guns of Brixton- The Clash

Enjoy the Silence- Depeche Mode

Fools- The Dodos

I Guess

Sometimes, I wish I was a child again, playing video games, myspace or facebook never existed yet, life’s worries were….well nothing really. Never an emotional problem, there was never ‘love’, never had to worry about anything…Now, innocence sent out its deuces, everybody wants the fastest car, the hottest bitch, the stupidest status, and the most cashmone(Even I can vouch for this one).

You got to put it in your mind its a competition out there….a sad one at that, but regardless is one.  And that life is one crazy bitch thats ready to hop on your wang, I guess…And people who post themselves chuggin’ a bottle of jack, its ALWAYS cooler to make it black and white! its way more epic.

I hear….

Great Gig in the Sky- Pink Floyd

No. 13 baby- Pixies

Subterranean Homesick Alien- Radiohead

Doubt- Delphic

The Prayer- Bloc Party

One percent…I’m not hiding anything

Is my way to everything in life. I always want to know that I achieved something in my life and that I can have a voice in this crazed world. The time is now and I have to endure right now so that way in the future it will be beyond OG. I live quite the spoiled and untamed lifestyle, but I never want that to be the climax of my life. I want my highest of the high when I know every aspect of my life is in line, but not minimally. I wish to find happiness in the little things…I found that happiness not long ago and would kill to go back someday. But for now, its serious, and the goal at the end is all too sweet to fail at this point.

The little things are important to me, and for all people who might look at me differently, can literally lick the lower crevice of my ass. I don’t care about you and you don’t care about me. And for people who have wronged me in the past, believe me your ‘honorable’ sentiments have not gone unheard. ‘Cage Fight’ anyone? The dumbshits that inhabit this world…I never thought I would truly be challenged to a cage fight. Apparently, ‘girls’ these days love no brain douchebags who make a ‘lot’ of noise and dog grunts. Ladies, loosen yourselves up, no one is stopping you. It might stop a penis one day though.

Time is certainly an odd thing. So much has changed for me these past two months. My mindset has changed….For better and worse. I look at life differently than I did, the world…I found out who is a woman and who is a girl. Who will succeed and who will crumble. Who is full of shit and who is truly grazing the fine bosom of life. Ive felt differently. I’ll have moments where I felt like I should say….fuck it…fuck this life ordeal, I went through an omg ‘amazing’ time…How could I get there again? There is just no way?  I was doing nuisance activities…About two friends could vouch those activities and I won’t share. Truly for a moment there, I lost myself. Right after two months after this elusive break up, I look at girls differently. I look at a ‘slut’ who is practically not wearing anything….and I’m thinking in my head, what in the croicky fuck are you? What are you supposed to be? Oh yea? Do people want to do you from behind? Get a big strong testosterone man whose is just as dumb as you to hook up with your stupid fake self? Don’t post your stupid ass statuses about your damn issues or ‘problems’. You live in America you don’t have any problems. If you want to make up a problem to make your life interesting, go nuts, but don’t share your little cunt problem on the web. A cute act indeed. Get over the ‘ish’ ladies, grow up or grow old quick. 

And I loathe how the person I hate the most, I also love the most. Contradictions irritate me. They are as useless as a blind man at an orgy.

I have very little hope for this generation, but all the hope in the world for myself. For people I love, my parents, my brother; my main friends Adrian, Adam, Jeff, Jim, Howard; you mean the world to me. I hope this summer will be of only great things truly. 

'The problem is….we've lost all that was innocent and regretting has already passed us all.'